Anti-Pornography Website

Quotes from Pornography Users

Here are a few quotes from some of the pornography users who were interviewed by journalist Pamela Paul:

"I don’t see how any male who likes porn can think actual sex is better, at least if it involves all the crap that comes with having a real live female in your life."
-- Frank, porn user.

"I live sex the way it’s shown in porno. If I were with a woman and I weren’t getting the kind of pleasure I see people enjoying in porn films, then I wouldn’t be with that woman. I’ve broken up with women who wouldn’t perform certain things I’ve seen in adult films. In porn, the women have orgasms so easily. But it usually takes longer in real life for women to have an orgasm. I get pretty impatient."
-- Luis, porn user.

"Sex just seemed so ordinary; it was no longer thrilling or magical the way it had been before I-porn. I actually had to make a conscious decision to quit. I was worried that I was becoming compulsive and even dependent on it. The fact that porn was altering my sex life scared me. When I don’t have those images in front of me, I just can’t get that aroused. Sex is no longer as physiologically exciting."
-- Rajiv, porn user.

"I’ve definitely noticed that naked images that used to arouse me don’t anymore, so I had to move on. I found that I was getting numb to basic images. I needed to keep progressing to more explicit stuff... I know a lot of this violates the dignity of a woman. When I realized how sexually turned on I was by stuff like bukkake, what I would do is force myself to stop and separate things in my head. I would make myself think, “yes, that was an enjoyable fantasy, but no, that is not the way I want to be with anyone.” I wish more people stopped and thought about it that way."
-- Dave, porn user.

"It’s kind of silly, but my standards changed. Women who were otherwise good-looking but weren’t as overtly sexy as the women in porn don’t appeal to me as much anymore. I found that I look more for women who have the attributes I see in porn. I want bigger breasts, blonder hair, curvier bodies in general. Just better-looking overall... I find that when I’m out at a party or a bar, I catch myself sizing up women. I would say to myself, “Wait a second. This isn’t a supermarket. You shouldn’t treat her like she’s some piece of meat. Don’t pass her up just because her boobs aren’t that big."
-- Harrison, porn user.

"I look for more extreme stuff... It’s become more severe as time has gone on...for some reason, with porn, in order for me to get excited, I need to notch it up one level. It’s got to be more extreme. Seeing women demeaned is somehow a turn on."
-- Tyler, porn user.

"I was just masturbating with [my wife]. All the while I was thinking either about porn or trying to make her say things she didn’t want to say. I was really just using her -- she was like a masturbatory accessory."
-- Miles, porn user.

"My theory is that all porn is focused on ejaculation... All men talk about the "money shot" and if you immerse yourself in porn, you eventually become obsessed with ejaculation and that can become an attraction in itself. Which then can lead to an attraction to male sexuality."
-- Charlie, ex-porn user.

"During that period of my life, sex had nothing to do with expressing love or affection... I became more selfish, because with porn, it was all about me -- me feeling better, me getting more pleasure, me getting more excited. It was completely self-centered."
-- Liam, ex-porn user. (1)

Here is a quote from a pornography user who was interviewed by Robert Jensen:

"I just freaked her [his wife] out a few times, with some of the stuff I'd dream up, or whatever. I'd fantasize stuff that wasn't true, and I'd get myself so hyped up into believing it... [About women] Sex is about all they're really good for. That's what the movies and books and pornography tries to put across: The fucking woman is shit. That's what I see. See women screwing a couple different guys. And they have little skits, like, you know, the husband is gone and these guys come over and fuck the shit out of her for a few hours, and you know, stuff like that. I have a hard time with my own imagination without looking at all these other weirdoes' ideas about things."
-- "Brad", pornography user. (2)


Quotes from porn users, appeared in Pamela Paul, Pornified; 2005.
(2) Quote from a pornography user, cited in Robert Jensen, "Using Pornography", in Gail Dines, Robert Jensen and Ann Russo, Pornography: The Production and Consumption of Inequality; 1998.